Invictus

I don’t think I’ll write long this time. But I don’t know. Each time I start to write, some more thoughts come to mind and then one thing leads to another, one seemingly unrelated thought connects to yet another. Just a few days back I was editing some photographs of doors and windows that I’d made across quite some time, and when I posted those, someone questioned me as to why were those photographs almost always of closed doors and windows? That was quite an interesting observation because I’d honestly never ever thought of them that way. To me, those doors were just waiting to be opened and for me to enter inside, cross the threshold into the unknown. I didn’t see the “closed” sign – what I noticed was “enter”. What had intrigued me was not so much the architecture or the design or the texture, but the fact that there was something beyond, something hidden waiting to be discovered, and something mysterious waiting to be unearthed…

That’s just the way it is with me – each and every day, I need to cross that threshold into the unknown, and by doing just that, I learn something more. Across the last few days, I’ve spent much time writing down a list of places I must go to and photograph, things I have to write about, photographers I need to meet, and by seeing just those, my calendar seems full for the next few years. Yes of course I dream, I dream about many things – but I don’t live in that world of dreams at this moment, today. My today is when I work to make those dreams come true – someday they will. And even if they don’t, I’ll at least be happy and satisfied that I tried my all without giving up. My today is where I cross that bridge into the mysterious.

So I open those doors. It is only by pushing me to the limits that I learnt of my own limitations. It is only through faith that I learnt the meaning of doubt. It is only by loving that I learnt what is hurt. Challenge your limits, don’t let go of faith, and find love. I never knew what photography would mean to me when I started two years ago, and I never knew I could write when I started posting in March, but here I am doing just both. Because I tried. Because I wasn’t afraid of that darkness. Because I didn’t care what anyone would say. Because I opened that door. Because I believe what Matthew 7:7 says: “”Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.” Remember that. Always.

And if the Bible gets too heady, just remember what William Ernest Henley wrote in 1875:

“Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the Master of my fate:
I am the Captain of my soul.”

Invictus.

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9 Comments

  1. Katie September 11, 2012 at 2:46 am #

    I am a new follower of your blog..Love it!

  2. Ellen Doman September 11, 2012 at 11:48 am #

    Stunningly beautiful photographs and well-spoken comments. Thanks for taking me with you on your journeys.

  3. Cyretha September 11, 2012 at 1:29 pm #

    Debesh,
    I, too, have been intrigued by doors. You are right they are not closed. They are to be opened and explored. Along with doors, I am intrigued by church steeples. While I am not a particulary religious person, I do think that steeples also have a story, especially those here in Europe. When I look out over the vast land and see one rising into the sky, I wonder how life was so many centruries ago.

    Gorgeous pictures and another excellent entry.

  4. Sonny September 11, 2012 at 5:40 pm #

    beautiful pictures….that shade of blue in the first photograph and the last, captures the light so aptly….to set the mood for all that , looking at that door evokes . i painted the ceiling in my verandah this same shade…i do love it so…:)

    i have to confess , the first emotion looking at doors , windows like these [ the second pic ? ] evokes in me , is to somehow uproot it and plant it in my home…..*sheepish grin

    i do gel with going ahead with my gut instinct….not really caring what or how others feel about it….least of all making an ass of myself…..but some days i feel , it is a luxury unavailable to one, when others are affected by your words, actions, decisions….

    wondering, exploring the mystery that lies behind those closed doors……….when i think about it…….and there is such a whole lot going on in my head…..heart lately…..i used to think, that i’d look back to giving in to it… as the hardest thing i’d ever done , truth be told…its been the easiest thing……what nearly gets me undone is the attempt to rationalize , make sense ….ignore…..silence the lil signs the damn universe keeps throwing my way…..

    what you quote up there….yeahummno….i am not one to ask……its just not there in some of us…..smiles .

    wonderful write as always …

  5. Anu September 11, 2012 at 7:45 pm #

    Inspiring & a motivating blog, with colorful , fantastic photograhs as always…
    A sentence in your blog “It is only by loving that I learnt what is hurt. Challenge your limits, don’t let go of faith, and find love.” ..hit a chord in my heart. A very true statement, but only the brave hearted ones dare to put it into practice. :)
    So keep opening those doors of your dreams and continue to engross us with your future blogs, narrating to us what dreams of yours you found behind those closed doors…..

  6. Nancy de Flon September 13, 2012 at 4:26 am #

    You have actually surpassed yourself, Debesh. This is beautiful, moving, inspiring–ugh! those words sound like so many cliches in the face of what you’ve written.

  7. Deana September 13, 2012 at 4:45 am #

    Love your blog.praise the Lord….God bless you Debesh!

  8. Debesh September 19, 2012 at 11:48 pm #

    Welcome Katie – thank you so much for your lovely words.

    Thanks a lot for commenting Ellen. Really appreciate it.

    Cyretha my friend, thank you so much for being so kind. I’m so happy to see someone else also feels the same. As photographers, and also as “ordinary” people, we’re always in search for that story, that missing link, that piece that fits just right. It is the search, the quest that matters – rest all becomes secondary.

    Never question Sonika, not always do questions have answers – I’ve always followed my heart. It has hurt at times. But I never changed. Which is why I always say follow your heart. You’re absolutely right – its just not there in some of us.

    Anu, thank you so much. Go ahead and fall in love. Love with freedom. Dance like no one is watching. Dare to dream. You only live once. Savor life. Each moment.

    Thank you so much Nancy – I am touched by your lovely words. Just what I feel – straight from the heart.

    Deana, many thanks and yes, praise the Lord.

  9. jaitri acharya October 10, 2012 at 10:28 pm #

    loved reading your blog on closed door’s…so well written….don’t know the finer nuances of it…but felt like you could convey what was in one’s mind or one felt like after looking at the closed door’s!!!! wanting to explore…….

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